I Can’t Believe I am Here

Lately I have had the strangest feeling.
It just feels so hard to believe that here I am in this situation.

Go ahead and ask the former Sitia
whether she would continue to master program after her undergraduate program…
whether she would be eager to study engineering again for the third time…
whether she would stay up late in library, studying…
whether she would care about how her look…
whether she would ponder what clothes to wear…
whether she would put on some make up…
whether she would wear long dress almost everyday…
whether she would join that quite Islamic committee…

Just go ahead and ask her.

I am certain that she would say
no… because she was fed-up with studying engineering…
no… because she was not a fan of engineering subjects and she felt tired of studying the same thing over and over again…
no… because she preferred playing a game than staying in library…
no… because she did not care about how people see her…
no… because she loved her pajamas so much that she wore it anytime and anywhere…
no… because doing make up was too girly for her…
no… because she simply didn’t like long dress… too girly, too inconvenient, not her style…
no… because she was not interested in joining the “right-side” committee…

But here she is.

And here I am.

Studying the same engineering subjects again in master program.
Staying up late in library.
Caring about how good I look.
Wearing long dress, almost every day.
Always putting on a little bit of make up.
Joining that “right-side” committee.
Having crush on him again.

I understand that fate is unpredictable,
but still…

I can’t believe I am here…

In this unlikely-to-be-true circumstances.

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